What do a parole officer, a dental hygienist and a grandmother have in common? If they are part of a tight-knit group of Maple Grove women who have been gathering monthly for the past eight years to do things like taste wine (or rum or tequila in the summer) and chat about life, family, their neighborhoods and work—then, a lot.
It started as a wine tasting among friends, and somewhere along the way it flourished into something a little vino couldn’t possible provide—extended family. “I grew up with three brothers; no sisters. Many in our group of 16 have been like sisters to me in my adult life,” says Terry Toops, one of the original organizers of the wine tastings.
But it was more than simply being female that drew these particular women together. There was a common bond. Group member Shelly Halverson describes it as a strong set of shared core values. “Family, faith, marriage and children are important to all of us,” she says. “We have each been married for 20-30 years or more. We all have children who are older.”
Finding themselves in roughly the same period in life wove kindred connections. “We are sharing in the joys and challenges that this next stage of our lives are giving us from children leaving home, to their marriages, to grandbabies, to taking care of our parents,” explains Terry Johnson.
They explore wine together, laugh, play Bunco and ask about one another’s family members, but these women are nowhere near the Real Housewives you see on TV. They value careers. “All of us are still involved in the working world, too,” Johnson says. “We are business owners, admin assistants, an accountant and school teachers. Some are taking more college classes and changing careers.”
These women should be the model for a show entitled Really Real Housewives. It’s not enough that they care for their own families (with a total of 39 children and numerous grandchildren, there are a lot of graduation open houses to attend!), but they are also involved in their communities and cemented their friendship in service to others.
One year, they adopted a family in need at Christmastime. C.R.O.S.S. (Christians Reaching Out in Social Service), a local organization that provides food and clothing to those in temporary need, matched them with a family. “We received a list of wishes that were obviously only for the kids,” Halverson explains, “but we know that parents need Christmas too, so we showered them with all kinds of things—toys and clothes, as well as essentials.”
Johnson says their annual holiday shopping service project is one of the highlights of their year. “We gather together and then head to the stores for shopping, wearing our Christmas hats and jewelry! After the shopping, we wrap the gifts at a local restaurant (El Rodeo last year) and reflect on how this makes Christmas how it should be!”
This year, they’ll continue by filling shopping bags full of food for C.R.O.S.S. families. As if they need to spur one another on, they often tack on a challenge, like filling the bag only with things that begin with a specific letter, or competing for the highest number of items or heaviest bag.
Gathering once a month and sharing sorrows and joys binds them. Understanding holds them together. Service brings their friendships full circle. “Life is just as busy now,” Johnson assures, “but we are keeping it fun.”
The Lineup
Sixteen friends – their marriages, careers and kids:
Ruth Fornasiere – married 30+ years - PE Teacher at Oakview Elementary; three adult children, one grandson
Julie Poyer – married 30+ years - Education Coordinator for Allina; one adult child, one child deceased
Daleen Stamas – married 20+ years - Accounting Manager at Carlson; one child starting college
Terry Toops – married 30+ year - Teacher in Osseo School District; one adult child, one child deceased
Nancy Stieg – married 20+ years - Health Plan Account Executive; three children - one-college, one-high school, one junior high
Renee Gossen – married 30+ years - Parole Officer in Anoka; two adult children- last one in college
Jaci Jones – married 25+ years - Dental Hygenist; three adult children, last one in college
Shelly Halverson – married 30+ years - Business Development - Residential Real Estate; two adult children
Joni Hodsdon – married 30+ years - Teacher at Woodland Elementary; three adult children- last one in college
Mary Olson – married 25+ years - Analyst at University of Minnesota; two children in college
Patty Branch – married 17+ years - Finance Admin., Medical Device Company; three adult step-children - one adopted elementary aged child
Shelley Miller – married 30+ years - Teacher at Osseo ECFE; two adult children, one grandson
Teri Johnson – married 30+ years - Business Owner with husband, J. Brothers Home Improvements; four adult children - five grandchildren
Marian Mallam – married 30+ years - Surgical Tech at North Memorial Hospital; two adult children
Sandy Fielder – married 20+ years - Business Owner, Get In Shape for Women; one child in high school
Cindy Leadens – married 30+ years - Office Manager, Office Supply Company; three adult children - three grandsons
