Pets are wonderful companions who love unconditionally. They don’t care what type of mood we are in, they are non-judgmental, and they are loyal until the end. It can be hard to understand the unfairness of their short lives compared to their human owners. However, like all best friends, pets can teach us all sorts of life lessons.
Pets are wonderful companions who love unconditionally. They don’t care what type of mood we are in, they are non-judgmental, and they are loyal until the end. It can be hard to understand the unfairness of their short lives compared to their human owners. However, like all best friends, pets can teach us all sorts of life lessons.
While everyone grieves in a different way, there are some similarities we experience at the loss of a pet. Denial might be the first coping mechanism encountered after a pet’s death. It helps protect us from the harsh reality until we are ready to face it. Once pet owners are ready to face the reality of the situation, some may feel guilt and anger: at themselves for not attempting to do more for their pet, at the vet for not assisting their animal further, or at others around them, for not understanding their grief and pain. After these types of feelings subside, grief, true sadness and depression can set in.
According to Kenn Carlson, coordinator of the Pet Loss Support Group at the the Animal Humane Society in Golden Valley, the first step to cope with grief, sadness and/or depression is to acknowledge the feelings. One way to accomplish this is by attending a pet loss support group and surrounding yourself with others who are going through similar experiences. A support group offers a safe place to mourn the loss of a precious pet. The group and its facilitators are there to listen and offer support in a non-judgmental environment. This is a free service offered by the Animal Humane Society, every Monday night at 7 p.m. for those age 16 and up. Other options for coping during this painful time include calling a pet-loss hotline, such as the ASPCA hotline at 877. GRIEF.10, journaling about the feelings or reaching out to an understanding friend.
Doing something positive or uplifting may be another option to assist in the grieving process. Ideas for preparing a memorial for a pet to help celebrate their life include: planting a tree in the pet’s honor, framing a picture of them and putting it in a special place, making a donation to a local charity in their name or placing their nametag on a keychain.
For children, the loss of a pet might be their first experience with death. It can be hard to understand why their pet is gone and why they won’t see them again. It can bring about anger, confusion, guilt and fright. The Hennepin County Library offers books to help children cope with and understand what is happening during this difficult time.
Kay Wiens, a Maple Grove resident, lost her beloved cat in February. Pinky, named for his bright pink tummy and being the size of a pinky finger at birth, was 17½ years old when he passed away at home. Wiens and her family watched Pinky take his first breath, when he was born near the family piano, and take his last breath near that same piano. His entrance into the world and his sad exit came full circle, where he enjoyed listening to the music from Wiens’ piano students and her three sons. When Pinky passed away, they played the piano in his honor. Wiens’ advice when facing the death of a pet: “Give yourself time to grieve, as it takes time to heal the heart. I let tears roll when I feel the loss of him. But as time passes, I have learned that remembering the good times is healing as well. I am so thankful Pinky was a part of our lives, and he will forever be in our hearts.”
It is important to remember that in the midst of the pain and the grief, there will be a time again when memories of a beloved pet will bring smiles without tears.
Services
The Golden Valley Animal Humane Society offers a variety of services for those dealing with the death of a pet. Euthanasia services are available to pet owners with limited incomes. Private and communal cremations and a pet loss support group are also available. For more information, visit their website here.
Pet Cremation Services of MN also provides private pet cremations. For more information, visit the website here.
Some ways to cope after losing a pet:
- Plant a tree in honor of their life.
- Place their nametag on your keychain.
- Donate to charity in your pet’s name.
- Talk about your feelings.
Helpful books for kids at the Maple Grove library:
The Forever Dog by Bill Cochran
Mike and his dog Corky plan to be best friends forever, so when Corky becomes sick and dies, Mike is angry about the broken promise.
Good-bye, Fish by Judith Koppens
Fish doesn’t swim anymore. Dog and Kitty try to help Fish swim again, but nothing works. Giraffe knows what’s going on: Fish has died. Together they decide to bury Fish, but Kitty doesn’t want to forget about Fish. This touching story will help young children who are experiencing the death of a pet, friend or loved one.
The Day Tiger Rose Said Good-bye by Jane Yolen
A cat whose kitten days are far behind her says goodbye to her family and places that have made her life special, before leaving this life behind.
Cat Heaven by Cynthia Rylant
God created Cat Heaven, with fields of sweet grass where cats can play, kitty toys for them to enjoy, and angels to rub their noses and ears and feed them.
Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant
God created dog heaven, a place where dogs can eat ice cream biscuits, sleep on fluffy clouds and run through unending fields.
Good-bye Sheepie by Robert Burleigh
A father teaches his young son about death and remembrance as he buries their beloved dog.
